walking thru karma

It finally makes sense, that struggle in me between two disparate threads.

And partly it has to do with the study of karma that appeared in my life today. It came up in two conversations with my wonderful Boston friends (the joy and relish of my life here truth be told) and in particular I found myself thinking about the balance between the immediate and the long-term in regards to self-transformation. Karma describes the prison of causality, yes, but it also indicates the possibility of liberation, or awakening. All action takes place here, at the intersection of our garrulous past and the peace of tomorrow. We are sponges for the aggressions of our parents, but we are still resilient in spirit.

In my life, I see a split between going grad school in science and another, unknown walk. Maybe to a place where I am less defined by career and more by action. Where a job is only a means and the work an act of community and creative resistance.

Practicing a life anchored in and floating on the breath and body of yoga, rooted in the stillness of mediation, and moving with the smooth circular cadence of Tai Chi. Let's try for six years to grow in that practice. Six years to root in.

And I see myself looking into that split in my future. I'm transfixed by the play of my imagination on the unlit black canvass of my life.

This new knowledge of what I want has illuminated (to an astounding degree) who I am.