Prayer is the essential aspect that I have been missing in my practice. After all, what exactly am I practicing for? Without prayer, this practice is devoid of, outside, and separate from the divine; it's an ego echo chamber, a dark telescope, the devil's own chain. Again and again the shadow whispers poison, the ego self-aggrandizes, and the broken soul desperately longs for the next spiritual fix.
Prayer, as I have been learning, is more then just a place of communion with the divine, but instead the earnest quality of seeking that out. It's a place where surrender and love truly emerge, a cup overflowing with gratitude and grace. I've recently been discovering new qualities about grace, how grace is like a womb of love in which we are submerged. Being loved exactly as we are, regardless of mistakes, flaws, achievements, qualities, or skill. Completely unconditional. Completely constant.
So I'm playing this new edge where every practice becomes a prayer, a way to open up and recognize how grace surrounds me, guides me, and holds me. A way to step outside of my own mind and orient with something higher, brighter, and kinder than my own ego-projections. Maybe with practice I can remain mindful enough to dedicate all of my actions to the holy spirit, the immanent life-force, the compassionate, the terrible. What a blessing to behold!
Meditate on the Guide,
the Giver of all, the Primordial
Poet, smaller than an atom,
unthinkable, brilliant as the sun.
~Bhagavad Gita, 8.9
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