You know, from time to time I need to get down

Tonight I found myself spontaneously meditating, with Robyn's Body Talk playing in the background no less. Just goes to show how irrelevant specific formations of internal peace practice can be. Most Buddhists monks would probably say that music (especially Swedish electronica/dance ;) is an interference to meditation since it overrides the natural vibrations of the mind. I was actually enjoying it immensely, and not because I was having an internal dance party during my sit. My breath, mind, and body-energy were very chillaxed (=chill + relaxed).

Anyway, to the point. I was thinking how I've continued to struggle with a dualistic conception of my meditation practice. Either I need to do it (and do it a LOT) because it's the only thing bringing more sanity, balance, and light into my life and my world OR I don't need to do it because everything is already OK the way it is, or rather I have already learned to be OK with everything the way it is and mediation has done its job.

Tonight it occurred to me that maybe part of my hang up results from a simplistic, goal-oriented approach to meditation. Rather I should say a singular goal oriented approach, i.e. a specific, one-time, all-encompassing acquisition of wisdom. All of this depends largely on the assumption of an uninterrupted, singular personality in my life, a constant "ego." Now this is something very suspect. This "I" that engages the world and (seemingly) controls my responses is only a very tiny shard of a multi-faceted being, that much I am clear on now.

So maybe it's possible to achieve specific revelations of wisdom within specific chapters of my life. Maybe the meditation mandate (or whatever mandate) can be contracted, fulfilled, and then renewed again later under new circumstances. I guess it raises the question - how many lives can I live in a single lifetime, or maybe, how many times will be I be transformed, renewed, and re-charged with new obstacles/lessons/challenges?

I guess the truly non-dual perspective would see individual beads on a string and simultaneously know the necklace as well. Yes yes.

I would like to give myself permission to sit spontaneously more often.

With all the body-listening, nadi-filling, breath-grounding, lotus-opening, divine-talking goodness that so often comes to grace my sense field. Yes.

Gratefully,
Always,
A