blessed be :)

good evening folks, witch camp has just flown in. :)

tonight i got my calling, and it was totally clear and it pierced right into the center of my fog. i'll start early today... i road to work with a heavy heart and asked myself "why am i doing this?" and then it finally dawned on me that i could leave boston early, if that was what i wanted. to be kind to victoria i could wrap up the summer and then be on my way after the rnc.

all day there was a firestorm of mental cogitation in my mind. what would i do if i left? which of these plans should i enact? which desire gets priority? which path is true to myself? who the blizzard am i? and whir and whir and whir

then into the evening i was reminded of two things. plans are useless; when the moment comes you just go with it. that's how i know who i am, i am moving with all that i am. second even if i knew what i might find, there are so many blessings in life that come unseen. most of them really! so just be. heed the call or spin the map and point a finger, no matter where you go life will meet you there.

and if you think this is merely digression, then you have not yet caught the story. tonight i had an opening and a number of pieces fell into place. i came home and found a note from leila asking me to leave by the end of august. the timing clicked in, that's exactly when I can break from victoria. so no more wondering, i'm off!!

by the end of september i will give away what i can, box the rest, and carry what i need on my back. first to the rnc (which seems almost too perfect as a "quit your job and fuck the system party") where hopefully i can hang out afterwards to regroup. then when i'm finished i can go to ky, give a kiss to my family and head to the woods. stop. ah yes, there it was. the calling :) it's time to go back to the woods. the blessed wilderness. (i'll post that in a minute, it seems like a relevant companion piece.)

the past two years have largely been focused on preparation for this work. now finally i know that the time has come. what will i do in the woods? magic, if you must know, with every breath of my day. i'll rock the yoga and martial training my style, build up a lotus seat and breathe into the kundalini. the rest i'll figure out as it unfolds.

look! i got so excited that i started a list :)
a cave or tent
solar powered lights
a clothes line and stream
food (nom nom)
rope for makiwara
books:
iron shirt, funakoshi, iyengar, tibetan book of the dead (for bardos),
book of five rings, patanjali, the golden flower, taoist soul body, spanish language stuff
a journal and ink
a day planner for keeping time